I met my ex-husband when I was 21 years old. I was in college and he was a local small town cop. At the time we met, I was in a relationship with someone who I rarely saw, was also in school and did not work. Essentially, I was craving attention and stability. I certainly received the attention I so desperately wanted, what I didn’t realize at the time was that it was toxic and a huge red flag.
Our relationship went lightening speed fast. Within three days, I had broken up with my boyfriend and began a relationship with my ex-husband. He showered me with attention, so much attention that he didn’t want to spend time with anyone else. That eventually meant he did not want me spending time with anyone else either. Two months later we were living together and not spending time with anyone but each other. This was also the time mark when another huge red flag popped up. He accused me of talking to a guy, shoved me away from him (I fell down) and he called me a cunt. This was the first time anyone had ever spoken to me like that. I immediately burst into tears. He responded by telling me, “Oh, don’t exaggerate, you made yourself fall down”! Oddly, this occurence and one more many years later, were the only “physical” occurences in our relationship. His main super power was verbal abuse which started out few and far between but progressively became more consistent.
Flash forward, we have been divorced one year and our relationship lasted for a total of thirteen years. Here I hope to talk about every experience I had while in this relationship, from why it lasted so long to how I made it to a divorce and every thing in between.